My goal with blogging to be consistent. When I have a topic that I am torn about I have no trouble at all writing about it. The trouble is when I dont really know what to talk about, I just don’t write. I enjoy writing. I find it quite therapeutic. I feel accomplished after I write and enjoy putting my thoughts on paper. Writing brings clarity at times, and perspective at others. I want to commit to posting weekly, which means writing almost daily.
I think I am going to pick up where I left off on my last blog. I am still seeking where I should pour myself into fully. The debate between cosmetology career or shift to a career in ministry. The shift in careers is going to happen, it is only a matter of time and education. I have been researching different options of which path to take, christian counseling (non- accredited) which could definitely give a better understanding of people who I encounter battling chemical imbalances, as well as the dynamics of counseling in the church. The second option is more a commitment and definitely carries more credentials. I took a look at seminary. There is are different options, from a certificate for biblical studies, an associates in art and religion, to a masters in theology and ministry. Originally the time commitment was the first thing that scared me off. I couldn’t help but to be scared of the commitment. Not to mention the financial obligation that would come along with this investment. I was encouraged by one of the people I have reached out to as “Wise counsel,” who shared… “Jade you could go as far as to get a PHD and still get started sooner than I did.” That one statement made me reconsider a seminary degree.
As the days have progressed the questions and hoops to jump through have as well. I have basically boiled it down to two options. Begin at the local community college, take my basics and earn an associates degree in psychology. Once that is completed move forward into a bachelors in seminary and possibly later a masters. My other option which my husband pointed out may not carry the same weight is earning a certificate program at one of the top seminary schools where I have the opportunity to customize my own experience, tailoring it to my specific journey. My husbands greatest concern is that a certificate program doesn’t carry as many credentials. When looking for a job, a degree looks far better than a certificate. One of the other options I could do is combine the two. I could earn an associates in psychology and work on the certificate specializing in theology, counseling, recovery, and shepherding. I really like the thought of this option, but I ask if I am I limiting myself? Earning a bachelors or a masters really is intimidating to me. I believe it is the commitment of the 6yrs that I am mostly afraid of. I know the first step is to earn an associates, so I guess I should start there. I was reading my devotional today and it shared that as we grow deeper in Christ we aren’t finding ourselves having to ask what His will is through every single step. As we learn his character, we learn to answer the way He would. That was encouraging to me today. I want to know that I am walking in alignment with Him daily and I don’t want to override his will with my own. This helped to confirm that His desires are within me. I can trust when I have a strong desire for the direction to take, that it comes from Him. The more my life mirrors His, the more my desires will as well.
One of the things I believe as I said last blog; when a calling is placed on someones heart there is always an action to be taken as an act of faith and sacrifice. Along with that action, comes a fear. What if I do all of this, go as far as to get a masters degree in theology and ministry, and have nowhere to go and work. What if someone doesn’t give me a chance. What if it is all for nothing. I know that I can not live in a world of “What if’s.” I know what kind of unnecessary anxiety and insanity that brings into your life. As a human who is of flesh, it still creeps its way in there. I will start by rebuking that Lie! I want to be covered in prayer moving forward but I am also hesitant to share this calling to everyone at this point. I am afraid of the criticism, the questions that I may not have the answer to yet, and the gossip that is to follow. I debate on whether that is the enemy keeping me from reaching out or Gods voice of caution, to keep me guarded from discouragement. I believe that it is God’s caution deep down, when the timing is right I can trust to feel it completely. I have shared with very few so far. Those who can either provide direction in moving forward or those who trust me and bare their soul to me. I feel it is right to share my current place in my journey with them.
Excited for this journey, and hopeful for the future ahead!